Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
