i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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