the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
