I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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