Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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