i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
