But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize