if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
