Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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