He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we're chasing vodka with high fives
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
