well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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