At least make sure they are 18
Why
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
