Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
