I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
