It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
