Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
