We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
