Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
