would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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