Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
