I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
