is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
