You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
