We named our party play list daddy issues
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize