I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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