I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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