so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
