remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
