That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
