I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
