I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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