I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
