Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
