Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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