found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
