But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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