This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
