and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
