It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
