I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize