eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
