Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
