Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
