You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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