All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
