he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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