they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
