May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The air taste purple.
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