Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found puke in my bra..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
