Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
