break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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