She's JV to your varsity
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
