So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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