I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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