Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
