im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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