I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
