Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
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