I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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