everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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