just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
