I CAN MOONWALK!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
