You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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