people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
false alarm. still invincible.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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