I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize