why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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