I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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