I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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