I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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