D3 body, D1 cock
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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