wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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