im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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