Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize