it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How external is "for external use only"?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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