Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
