It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
