Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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