Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am one with the molecules
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize