And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
